22.7.14

CONVERTING BOYFRIEND 5.0 Apps. to HUSBAND 1.0 Apps. ---->(Humorous)

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled another valuable program, Romance 9.5. And then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1. What can I do?

Reply:
Dear Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: www.ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically runs the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Also DO NOT disturb the original package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new virus Girlfried 2.5 automatically downloaded into your system. So be careful.

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Cute Looks 7.7

#JustForLaughs
Stay Connected to this blog!
Akogun Olalekan™

What Your Urine is Telling You About Your Health

.................................
.................................
There is a reason behind the color and smell
A trip to the toilet may be more revealing than you think. "The appearance and smell of your urine—as well as the frequency with which you have to go—can provide many clues to what else is going on in your body,"
I hope this quells somebody's worries and/or insinuations. I also believe it would be as informative to you as I thought it would.

1) Looking pale
If your urine is as colorless as water, well, that's probably because you've been drinking a lot of water. And besides the inconvenience of going to the bathroom many times a day because your bladder is filling up with fluid faster, there's really nothing medically worrisome about having a light colored output.

2) Too dark
If your urine has a brownish, iced tea-colored tinge, that could be a sign that you are dehydrated and the kidney is producing more concentrated (as opposed to diluted) urine. "The urine gives good indications of the body's level of hydration," Farber says, "so if a patient complains of dizziness or lightheadedness, you would want to check the urine to rule out dehydration as a cause of the problem." The ideal shade to strive for is the color of straw. Another reason to get yourself checked out if you see dark urine—especially if it doesn't lighten up after you drink a few glasses of water—is that the cause could actually be blood. It won't be as obvious as a bright red drop in the toilet, but it could be a sign of bleeding higher up in the kidney which could indicate an infection, kidney disease or even cancer.

3) Sweet smelling
Catching a whiff of something sugary sweet after you pee might actually be a clue to something very serious going on in your body. "A sugary smell might indicate the presence of blood sugar that's being excreted in the urine," says Farber. And a high concentration of blood sugar in the urine is one sign of diabetes. The kidney acts as a filter for all sorts of waste that flows through the body. But if your filter is damaged, things can leak out of it and end up being excreted in the urine. In the case of diabetes, excess blood sugar sneaks out through a leaky filter and shows up in the urine. If you are pregnant, changes in the kidney filtration system can result in the presence of sugar in the urine. Whether pregnant or not, if a doctor finds sugar in your urine, he or she should order further tests to determine if diabetes is a concern.

4) Funny smelling
It can be a little bit disconcerting, but, smelling an odd odor when you pee is probably nothing to be worried about. Certain foods—asparagus, most notoriously—produce a sulfur-containing amino acid. So when the food is broken down in the digestive system, those smelly substances are released, filtered through the kidney, and then make their way into the urine where they create an unpleasant scent. As soon as the food responsible has been fully digested and flushed from your system completely, the smell will vanish as well.

5) Bright yellow
Urine that looks nearly neon-colored may seem somewhat alarming, but the cause is most likely nothing more sinister than your daily multivitamin pill. "The B vitamins and carotene in particular give the urine a deeper, more golden color," says Dr. Deborah J. Lightner, associate professor of urology at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. And don't worry: That brightly colored urine means you're simply pissing away all of your expensive supplements. The urine color can be affected as the vitamins filter through your system—even as they are being absorbed and utilized.

6) A spot of blood
Seeing a splash of red in the toilet can mean many things—some quite benign, others quite serious. "For that reason, you should always have your doctor check your urine if you see blood," warns Lightner. "In an otherwise healthy young woman, the chances are overwhelmingly in favor of it being a sign of a urinary tract infection, but blood in the urine is also one of the seven deadly signs of bladder cancer in both women and in men." Beyond the possibilities of infection or (worst case scenario) cancer, blood in the urine can also be caused by microscopic trauma or tears (not uncommon after an endurance event like a marathon), kidney stones, or as a side effect of taking blood-thinning medication or daily aspirin therapy.

7) Always gotta go
You've seen the commercials of people racing to the bathroom in a panic because they have to go so often and so urgently. There are a variety of possible causes, and unless you are going so often that it's truly affecting your life, frequent bathroom urges probably are not cause for concern (or for taking the medications advertised in those commercials). Look first at your diet and lifestyle. If you've suddenly picked up the habit of toting a water bottle with you everywhere and have greatly increased your H2O intake, the reason could be as simple as the fact that you're filling your bladder up more often and more quickly than you used to—and, consequently, it needs to be emptied more frequently than it used to. Or maybe you've recently changed your diet to include foods that contain more water (such as fruits and vegetables) and act as diuretics, or begun taking medications (like drugs used to treat high blood pressure) which are also diuretics. One of the common symptoms of a urinary tract infection is an urgent need to pee (often without being able to once you get to the toilet). Growing older can also be to blame for increased frequency and urgency in both men and women—as the way the kidney and the bladder make and discharge urine changes with age. For men, however, the prostate may play a role. It's not uncommon as men age for the prostate to become enlarged and cause an obstruction that causes weak urine flow and prevents the bladder from emptying effectively, which then creates the need to go more often.

8) A little leakage
It's one of those topics no one likes to talk about, but a lot of women—even very young women who have never gone through childbirth—experience some type of urinary incontinence. "Stress incontinence is a condition in which the muscles of the pelvic floor can't handle the increased pressure of high impact activities like running or gymnastics, or even something like coughing or sneezing," Lightner says. And when the pelvic floor is too weak to withstand that sort of pressure, the result is that a small amount of urine will leak out. The situation often begins—or gets significantly worse—after a woman gives birth. The best solution is to strengthen the pelvic floor by regularly doing Kegel exercises (in which you repeatedly contract and release those muscles as if you were trying to stop your flow of urine). Another type of urinary incontinence is called urge incontinence, and it is characterized, not by weak muscles, but by a bladder malfunction. "The bladder will fire without your permission, so you won't necessarily get the signal to head to the bathroom before your bladder decides it's time to empty itself," says Lightner.

9) A burning sensation
If you are suddenly experiencing pain when you pee, it's highly likely that you are experiencing one of the first signs of a urinary tract infection. Such infections are incredibly common among sexually active, pre-menopausal women, thanks to the fact that the female anatomy puts a relatively short urinary canal in close proximity with the vagina and rectum. That proximity makes it very easy for bacteria to find its way into the urethra and up the urinary canal. Oral antibiotics can clear the infection up within days, and increasing fluids can help flush out bacteria to shorten the duration of the infection. The male anatomy makes urinary tract infections a much rarer event for men, but they can happen—and, Lightner warns, similar signs and symptoms in men can also signal an infection of the prostate.

Hope this material has done you good? If yes, do share this link/blog with a friend.

#HealthTalk
Akogun Olalekan™

21.7.14

German Player Damages World Cup Trophy During Celebrations

Remember when Sergio Ramos dropped the Coppa del Rey while celebrating Real Madrid's victory in the Spanish cup? And how the bus then drove over the trophy? Well, Germany have managed something even more embarrassing.

Yes, Die Nationalmannschaft have managed to take a piece out of the World Cup. When Germany returned home with the trophy, wild celebrations ensued in Berlin, complete with a dramatic unveiling of Philipp Lahm holding the prize aloft.

But somewhere amidst all the jumping, frolicking and merriment-making, the Cup sustained a bit of damage. In fact, a small piece of it is now missing, as the German Football Federation president president Wolfgang Niersbach revealed.

"At one point, a small piece of our World Cup trophy was chipped off," Niersbach told Die Welt. "But do not worry! We have specialists on the case who can fix it. We have investigated persistently who it was that damaged the trophy, but the investigation was concluded without a result."

So no one wants to 'fess up to breaking the big prize, huh? That's very surprising. But whoever the culprit is, they can find comfort in knowing that at least they did not destroy the real thing. Unlike the Jules Rimet trophy, which Brazil was allowed to keep after winning their third World Cup in 1970, the current FIFA World Cup Trophy cannot be won outright.

What Germany took home is a replica, made of bronze and plated with gold, rather than the solid gold cup that presumably sits behind locked gates and armed guards. Still, you've got to imagine someone is feeling a bit sheepish right about now, as that trophy is a rather nice souvenir to be putting on display.

Culled from Nbc Sports.
Akogun Olalekan™

Lagos Approves 10-Day Paternity Leave For Male Civil Servants

Governor Babatunde Fashola of Lagos State has approved 10 days paternity leave for any male civil servant in the state whose wife delivers a new baby.

The measure is to afford them the opportunity of attending to developmental needs of the child.

Fashola also jerked up the maternity leave from three months to six, to allow the nursing mother give their child exclusive breastfeeding for the period.

Head of Service, HOS, Mrs. Oluseyi William, who disclosed this yesterday, at a joint briefing with the Commissioner for Information and Strategy, Lateef Ibirogba and Special Adviser to the Governor on Public Health, Dr. Yewande Adeshina, in Ikeja, said the new approved policy took immediate effect.

According to Williams, "male officers to whom a new baby (or babies in case of multiple birth) is born would be entitled to 10 working days paternity leave in relation to and at the time of his spouse's first two deliveries.

"Female officers shall be entitled to 24 weeks maternity leave with full pay in case of her first two deliveries and this commences, at least, two weeks before the expected delivery date.

"Any third and subsequent deliveries by any employee shall only attract 12 weeks maternity leave for the female officer, while the male officer shall not be entitled to paternity leave in that circumstance.

"In other words, leave entitlement in respect of the third and subsequent children of an employee shall be in line with the extant (now old) maternity leave regulations.

"It would be recalled that in the old dispensation, female officers were entitled to only 12 weeks maternity leave at every point of delivery, while male officers do not enjoy paternity leave. The 12 weeks was to be taken six weeks before and six weeks after delivery."

Akogun Olalekan™

"WORKPLACE ESSENTIALS" -Simple Tips To Improve Your Etiquette At Work.

ETIQUETTE ESSENTIALS: Do's and Don'ts of Workplace Etiquette
Keep the work flowing smoothly with these tips for office etiquette.

I hope you are off/set for the closing phases of July? Its been a cold rainy month. Here are a few basic etiquette pointers to keep things cool and copasetic in the workplace.

1)
Do respect your coworker's space. Offices, even if they are cubicles or open desks, should be respected as belonging to the 'owner.' Knock on the cubicle door or otherwise announce yourself and refrain from leaning on someone else's desk.

2)
Don't default 'reply all'. Keep 'reply all's' to a minimum and only when the whole group is interested in your answer. When sending a group email where replies only need to be directed to you, consider BCC. Instead, be a good email-er and preface subject lines with FYI: or Response needed: (just keep URGENT: for the most important situations- or try a phone call!)

3)
Do make work-friends. Some offices everyone is close and others are strictly business-only. Do what works for you, but knowing a few details about co-workers' lives makes it a lot easier to make small talk in the elevator or while waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.

4)
Don't kth*xba!I(Write grammatical blunders). Your colleagues deserve the same respect as clients. Keep the language in emails and other communication grammatically correct (and brief). This helps prevent confusion and keeps you looking professional. Additionally, turn off the caps lock. Beyond an overly-long acronym, it has no place in the workplace.

5)
Do ask before you put someone on speakerphone. If anyone else will be listening to the call, introduce them as well. Likewise if you'd like to record a call, ask first.

6)
Don't forget that sound- and smells- travel. In an open office, chomping and chewing or reheated lunches can easily grate coworkers' nerves. While that leftover garlic pasta is delicious, it's best to not use the communal microwave to heat it up.

7)
Office culture varies widely from place to place (What applies in the public service might not pass in the private sector) but these tips apply from the most relaxed startup to a downtown corner office. What office etiquette do you think keeps everyone playing nice at work?

Akogun Olalekan™