The Wordsmith Blog™

A woman writes to the IT Technical support Guy Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled another valuable program, Romance 9.5. And then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1. What can I do? Reply: Dear Madam, First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: www.ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically runs the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Also DO NOT disturb the original package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new virus Girlfried 2.5 automatically downloaded into yo

................................. ................................. There is a reason behind the color and smell A trip to the toilet may be more revealing than you think. "The appearance and smell of your urine—as well as the frequency with which you have to go—can provide many clues to what else is going on in your body," I hope this quells somebody's worries and/or insinuations. I also believe it would be as informative to you as I thought it would. 1) Looking pale If your urine is as colorless as water, well, that's probably because you've been drinking a lot of water. And besides the inconvenience of going to the bathroom many times a day because your bladder is filling up with fluid faster, there's really nothing medically worrisome about having a light colored output. 2) Too dark If your urine has a brownish, iced tea-colored tinge, that could be a sign that you are dehydrated and the kidney is producing more concentrated (as opposed to diluted) urine.

Remember when Sergio Ramos dropped the Coppa del Rey while celebrating Real Madrid's victory in the Spanish cup? And how the bus then drove over the trophy? Well, Germany have managed something even more embarrassing. Yes, Die Nationalmannschaft have managed to take a piece out of the World Cup. When Germany returned home with the trophy, wild celebrations ensued in Berlin, complete with a dramatic unveiling of Philipp Lahm holding the prize aloft. But somewhere amidst all the jumping, frolicking and merriment-making, the Cup sustained a bit of damage. In fact, a small piece of it is now missing, as the German Football Federation president president Wolfgang Niersbach revealed. "At one point, a small piece of our World Cup trophy was chipped off," Niersbach told Die Welt. "But do not worry! We have specialists on the case who can fix it. We have investigated persistently who it was that damaged the trophy, but the investigation was concluded without a result

Governor Babatunde Fashola of Lagos State has approved 10 days paternity leave for any male civil servant in the state whose wife delivers a new baby. The measure is to afford them the opportunity of attending to developmental needs of the child. Fashola also jerked up the maternity leave from three months to six, to allow the nursing mother give their child exclusive breastfeeding for the period. Head of Service, HOS, Mrs. Oluseyi William, who disclosed this yesterday, at a joint briefing with the Commissioner for Information and Strategy, Lateef Ibirogba and Special Adviser to the Governor on Public Health, Dr. Yewande Adeshina, in Ikeja, said the new approved policy took immediate effect. According to Williams, "male officers to whom a new baby (or babies in case of multiple birth) is born would be entitled to 10 working days paternity leave in relation to and at the time of his spouse's first two deliveries. "Female officers shall be entitled to 24 week

ETIQUETTE ESSENTIALS: Do's and Don'ts of Workplace Etiquette Keep the work flowing smoothly with these tips for office etiquette. I hope you are off/set for the closing phases of July? Its been a cold rainy month. Here are a few basic etiquette pointers to keep things cool and copasetic in the workplace. 1) Do respect your coworker's space. Offices, even if they are cubicles or open desks, should be respected as belonging to the 'owner.' Knock on the cubicle door or otherwise announce yourself and refrain from leaning on someone else's desk. 2) Don't default 'reply all'. Keep 'reply all's' to a minimum and only when the whole group is interested in your answer. When sending a group email where replies only need to be directed to you, consider BCC. Instead, be a good email-er and preface subject lines with FYI: or Response needed: (just keep URGENT: for the most important situations- or try a phone call!) 3) Do make work-friends. Some of